So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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