It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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