I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
