if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
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