Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i was born a porn star she said
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
