I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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