Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
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