FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
