i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
zippers are such a cool invention
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he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
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I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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