dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
