just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
