the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
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I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
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Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
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See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize