Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
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After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
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He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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