She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
