Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
