I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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