Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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