i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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