What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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