Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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