I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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