Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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