CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
