Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
