Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
