Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
