He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
