So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
