he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
