He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
