No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
