yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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