would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Why did my mother make you get naked?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
