My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
