I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
You brought string cheese to the strip club
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize