I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
