ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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