Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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