some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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