the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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