You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
