I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
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