so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Randomize
