i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
