The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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