everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
