There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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