Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
