I heard we made out
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
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at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
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As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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