Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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