i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
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