got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
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