I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize