i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
it's like heaven, but drunker
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
