my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
