Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
