there was a trapeze. enough said
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't burritos get me drunk
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize