It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
