I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
