Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
