i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
