Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
